pulse pt 2

Everyone has things that make them happy to be alive, things that get their heart smiling

Here are a few of mine: laying flat on my back in the snow and listening to the stark silence, the sound of rain hitting my window seal, a kiss that makes you feel like the room is spinning, finding an old rickety structure in the woods, and climbing it, watching a fish swim away after releasing it back into the lake, winning an auction on ebay, the first sleep on clean sheets, …

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Come home

And yeah I might be drunk right now, home from a party.  I’m in college.  And maybe I can’t get you off my mind because you are the one who I love.  And maybe I have been moody and you have been grumpy and we have had problems and we have had screaming matches but you are still the one I love.  Always,  and I want you here.

Butterfly Dance

butterflies chase

it’s one on one, flying at their top speeds high into the air

and then straight down to the Earth all at once

the one lagging nipping at the leaders heels

 

I am unsure what they are doing

 

as an outsider to their butterfly world

i just admire their beauty and grace

but for all i know

i’m admiring the delicacy

of a cut-throat battle to the death

nightly ritual gone public

I decided to type out my nightly prayer tonight just as I said it in my head:

Dear God

Thank you for this day.  Thank you for all you have given me.  Thank you for my house, a warm bed, food to eat, and clean water.  Thank you for giving me to the family that you did.  Thank you for clothes to wear, and everything you have blessed me with.  I do not deserve any of it.  Thank you for my schooling, and the opportunity I have been given to get my RN.

God, I pray for my aunt, and I hope her surgeries went well today.  I hope she will be able to walk again and can come back from this.  I pray for my dad’s mom and dad, you know their situation better than I do, but please help them.  I pray for Gran and Bill, I pray that they stay healthy.  Please don’t let Gran have Alzheimer’s, God.  Please.  I pray that the hair test comes back negative.  I pray for everyone sleeping under a pile a garbage just to stay warm tonight.  I pray for everyone all over the world that is hungry tonight with no food to eat.

Lastly, I pray for myself.  I pray that you will make me more childlike in my relationship with you.  I pray that you will keep me on the right track in life.  Also, I pray that I can enjoy life and reduce my anxiety, and not take everything so seriously.  Please use me to change the world, even if it is the world of one person.  I see what is happening to people and it really bothers me.  I don’t know what I can do, but you do.

I think that’s all I can think of.  Love you.

In your name I pray Lord,

Amen.

 

amuck in miraculous mud

You drive my mind amuck and I don’t even try to steer this train.

And this mud, this mud I know I am dragging myself into, is a mud filled with love and laughs and hugs and more love.  Mud is the best word to describe you and me.  Pulls you in and wraps around you all the way down to between your toes, until you don’t even want to get out.  Until you are giddy with being in this mud, and don’t think about anything else until your momma calls you back to earth.